Genesis 2 : 8 (New Living Translation)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

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Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Getting better

day 2 of daycare..... still sucks so bad
Who am I kidding with this post title. It's not at all better. I made it until 1:30 then I lost it (I brought my makeup to work for such an occassion, but don't care enough to use it...) I just want to run out and go get her.

Today I am thankful that I am busy at work. I really would not be breathing if I didn't have something to keep my mind off of her for at least a few seconds every hour.

Finally, please offer buddy your sympathy. I told the man for years that I WANTED to work...and I know deep down I do! But now all I talk about it is how miserable I am without her. Hang in there buddy. Everyone promises it will get better! We've got this.

Let me just also take the time to point out that I think it's stupid how everyone always talks about being worried about labor and delivery. They give you DRUGS. You don't feel a thing. The real pain nobody cares to discuss. Why is it that no one talks about abandoning and neglecting your brand new baby and throwing them in a room full of people she doesn't even know where she can't see or hear me for 10 hours?! THIS is what you need drugs for.... I'm just saying.

Again, no pictures. I do not want to remember these days.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Big girl... daycare

I packed the camera to take a picture of her first day at daycare, but it did not happen this morning! I just took all her stuff in and then ran out to get her all bundled up (cuz it's SNOWING - really) took her inside and said hello to all the other babies and then handed her over to DD and walked out. Hopefully I can hold it together long enough this afternoon to document this important day in Gracie history.
Cried in the car all the way to work. Cried when I sat down at my desk, cried when asked how it was going.... cried cried cried. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, but as of now I am convinced of these things:
1. Gracie wonders where I am..... I've abandoned her!
2. Gracie is crying and thinks I gave her away because I don't like her anymore! Why else would I leave her for 10 hours a day!!! (This is the dumbest thing I have ever done. Ever.)
3. Gracie will have the flu, a cough, a cold, and ear infection, a virus, or some other contagious disease by this afternoon. (Because I've been over protective against germs only making it more likely for her to get sick now.)
4. I predict daycares will go out of business in 2010 because it is HORRIBLE and again, the dumbest thing I have ever done. What was I thinking?!
5. Finally, I'm convinced that she is loved and that DD will love her and care for her. I'm also convinced that tomorrow will be easier and than today and Wednesday will be easier than tomorrow and Thursday will be easier than Wednesday and Friday will be GREAT because I get her all to myself on Saturday and Sunday!!!! Yipee

We did finally have Christmas at our house! See... she did have her very own tree and lights. And you were right, she LOVED the lights. (I'll pretend that's why they're all still up!)

There's not even a third of our ornaments on the tree. I was just impressed to get it up. She didn't mind one bit that it's practically naked.


How sad that she didn't have a stocking!!! No baby's first Christmas stocking?! Who are we? terrorists!

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